consequentialism

J2 adopts a butterfly with broken wings. why is it that i happily squish spiders ants and roaches flat but find myself agreeing to spare this particular insect?

is it because it is larger? or prettier? or just that J2 is fierce? if i deliberate this long enough it could become a metaphysical question.

one holy passion

i ask no dream no prophet ecstasies

no sudden rending of the veil of clay

no angel visitant no op'ning skies

but take the dimness of my soul away

teach me to feel that thou art always nigh

teach me the struggles of the soul to bear

to check the rising doubt the rebel sigh

teach me the patience of unanswered prayer

-george croly

the LORD is my portion; therefore i will wait for him.   -lamentations 3:24. 

this song reminds me that i fight my toughest battles at the borders of humdrum banality, where it is easy to forget there is even any dispute.

grief

my friend keeps vigil over his daughter. S, at eighteen, slips in and out of consciousness amidst the tubes and monitors. the wolf is a merciless marauder.

there are no platitudes worth mouthing.

culinary lesson

never buy the yellow noodles they call lo mein and expect to process them the way you do ordinary yellow noodles.

they simply congeal into a starchy lump as you braise them in the pan, at which point you retrieve the packaging and read that you should boil them for just 40 seconds.

on the other hand several tablespoons of curry powder and a can of tomatoes can transform the rest of your noodle ingredients into a rather novel plan b.

the hunt 3

craigslist.com is where i hang out these days, and this is what i learn:

1. there is a ten year gap between our budget and the car prices.

2. dealers outnumber owners. hey people this is a community board!

3. some odometers indicate 250,000 miles and are still running. wow.

my favorite adverts so far:

1978 orange beetle convertible, 4 speed. ♥ ♥ ♥

2003 black beetle convertible, auto. 

somebody's grandfather's vintage convertible. 

1971 military truck M35 109A3. it's a 2.5 tonner. 

HOM is increasingly inclining to a corolla. 

the hunt 2

it falls on me to man the 'phone and email in our quest for the perfect deal. from this experience, i realize i am a sucker for such statements:

• i've never had any trouble with this car, and
• it's a very low price, i can't go any lower.

i also fatigue easily and am about ready to capitulate to the nth person to tell me the above. fortunately in our family we separate research and decision making. i get the details, HOM guards the wallet.

curb appeal

i dedicate my weekend to a one-woman war against the weeds in the front yard. it occurs to me that we expend much energy on an essentially arbitrary denomination. if we agree that the dandelion is a flower and not a weed life might be simpler.

before

after

misnomer

we have birthday cake for tea. this is because i give the wrong birthday girl's name to the lady who creams on the stuff. now our refrigerator is full of additional correctly denominated cake that will go to church tomorrow, and the unfortunate lot that will be our private celebration.

the hunt

we are considering an additional car.

here's our wishlist:
me, i want a smartcar fortwo.
J2 wants a stick shift yaris.
HOM and J1 want a convertible.

also,
gas sipper, versus guzzler
reliable-but-sexy
within our unarguably skimpy budget

at this rate we will end up with a corolla which nobody likes but no one quarrels with.

idiot

Dog takes off into the night, which results in J2 and me taking turns to yell his name into the dark as we trawl the neighborhood. HOM eventually locates him in our neighbors' yard. he is lying down with our neighbor's baseball and quite unrepentantly insouciant. the moron.