i ♥ my dog groomer

Dog returns from the groomer's sporting a jaunty bandanna and accompanied by a complimentary bag of treats. Dog and his environs smell especially wholesome today.

to have and to hold

...for years of love and laughter and of service together...

give us many years, we pray, and suddenly it's been twenty. that's more than when we start, but i would have more yet. 

faux pas

the winter parade visits us. jolly santa on the fire truck gamely sits in the freezing wind as we happily snap away. very community esprit de corps and all that, except now a question plagues me. was santa here for a donation that we misunderstood for a photo opp?

counting down

we'll be hitting our twentieth year of coziness, we tell our children. that's cool, J2 says. that's even longer than J1 has been around! well now, isn't that neat?

cold weather days

things travel brochures don't tell you about that winter wonderland:

• the electric shocks,
• the nosebleeds, and
• the continuous hunger.

the hunger is a wonder to behold. i almost swear each of us harbors a resident tapeworm. mine is called Ingrid. HOM's is the hungriest.

systems review

a girl's best-kept-secret cold weather accessories:

• the dinky de-static-izer on my keychain ♥ ♥ ♥,
• off-street parking, and
• a portable heater.

grocery run

24 DOUBLE rolls = 48 REGULAR rolls! screams the loo paper packaging. this is how i end up piling 96 REGULAR rolls on the cashier's counter. there is a little lady ahead of me in the line. i see her eyes turn to the tower of rolls and take its measure before she turns to me. are these on sale? she asks me. what i say is, sometimes dignity has to take a backseat to economy.

toxic driver

an adult

on a cellphone

at a four-way stop sign

and unaware of it

!@#%!

is

blazing

irresponsibility

dawn of a new age

read this. china cracks down on software piracy, it screams. the chinese government is starting to crack down on  illegal software! ethical behavior is coming to business in china!

i say, give them some time yet. perhaps five years. a communist capitalist economy underpinned by centuries of hard-headed pragmatism will bow to principles only when the wallet or the heart is touched, and right now neither has occurred.

ablutions

i call the groomer's to get an appointment for Dog. i'm afraid we have a three-and-a-half-page long waiting list to christmas, the nice lady says apologetically. 

wait. it's three-and-a-half-weeks to christmas. it's winter outside and smelly inside. even J1 and J2, who have high tolerance levels, are badgering for Dog to get laundered.

hey, i want to whine, my dog's a walking septic tank! could you not just do him out of kindness?