election watch, interrupted 2

here's a memo for candidates standing for election:

the fist-thumping shouting-your-heart-out fire-and-brimstone style is just embarrassing. saccharine sweetness wrapped up in earnest altruism inspires more affection than confidence. if your hand moves with every sentence you speak soon we forget to listen. do not affect an uncouth pidgin accent to connect better with the electorate. do you think we are uncouth pidgins then? and oh yes, please do not preface your speech with mile-long salutations. even brutus only had friends, romans, countrymen. 

a good political speech is an effective speech with commendable content of a political nature. it is not a separate animal altogether from other oratory.

driving the little miss

it's saturday morning. J2 wants a ride to school. drive yourself, i say. show your independence. please, she says. if she drives herself she needs to leave earlier to grab a parking spot at school. if i drop her she gets parachuted right into position.

remind me again why we pay through our nose to finance the driving pleasures of a teenager.

menu revolt

what i planned for dinner: 

pan-fried salmon with ginger

what i suddenly would infinitely prefer:

deep-fried skin-on chicken 

generously slathered 

in general tso's sauce

i suspect this is the result of too active an imagination 

fed on too healthy a diet

for far too long

suddenly

exposed

to what HOM had for lunch.

election watch, interrupted

watch this. and this. these are two random examples.

quite apart from what the candidate is saying and not saying, what i say is, there is a distinct absence of cerebral ballast on the part of the interviewer(s). issues, darlings, issues! and please, please do not allow rambling (watch the second video). this is a political election, not a human interest story.

i ♥ my dry cleaners

it's just one middle aged korean lady with a thick accent manning the counter. she always greets me with a nod of recognition. she says i will take care of it not they. she asks for my name not my telephone number. when i pop back in to ask a question about my laundry she knows exactly what i am talking about. and get this. when i go collect my load she doesn't need to ask for my receipt number, or my name, again. she just goes to the correct spot in the entire forest of stuff and unerringly emerges with mine.

health care providers should bring their laundry in to her.

the un-unpacked box syndrome

here's my idea.

with every move people accumulate a couple of unopened boxes from the preceding abode that inevitably proceed intact to the next one. after several moves they naturally have a number of mysterious sealed brown boxes that remain unexplored undiscardable and forgotten until it's time for another move.

at the end of a lifetime of moves one could open the boxes as a time capsule treat.

our family has a number of time capsule treats coming up. we could sell tickets.

sgp elections 2011

as the dust settles on nominations day, it transpires that one group of opposition candidates is disqualified for submitting their papers 35 seconds late, the window for submission being 11 am to 12 pm on april 27th.

in some elemental way that i cannot begin to articulate, this deeply offends every sense of sportsmanship and fair play that i can summon.

cyber-enigma

i get that we live in a hyperconnected world awash with amorphous benevolence as much as with anonymous malice. a cyber-woodstock, if you will.

what defies understanding is why fifty-four thousand people would like a facebook page on which there are no posts and onto which they may not post.

weather change

we finally turn the heater off today.

it looks like summer is around the corner. summer is the time for goodbyes.

letris®...

J2 breaks the 2000 mark. i'm jealous.