somber thoughts

the commercial strains of black friday sound hauntingly familiar. foreclosures continue telescoping into general bad debt. favored politicians are losing their shine. there's a rash of accidental deaths and military deaths. healthcare is waiting to pull us into a new morass.

is it december already?

adult concerns

HOM wants to go away. privacy, he murmurs. just the two of us.
nothing a good lock wouldn't fix, i say.

living water

jeremiah 2 is the song of a love gone awry, of a covenant reneged. but the sobering lesson is not of losing or keeping one's first love, or even of holding to a pledge, but this:

that we need to believe He is the spring of living water, because the natural thing to do is to dig our own cisterns that do not hold water. it is in seeking our own help that the heart grows less attached; thus are modern idols invited in.

the modern haberdasher's

needles buttons and thread are so old world.

the aftermath

of our encounter with belinda is that we have had turkey with pasta and turkey curry and will perforce have turkey porridge turkey chilli turkey soup turkey noodles and various other turkey incarnations in the foreseeable future. having guests at the table is clearly going to be an act of self-preservation.

mortality

this is our last thanksgiving like this, with a full family in the sweetness of innocence. when thanksgiving comes again, J1 will be in military service and we may not be in this country.

it's a pity that it takes a conscious limit  to add an edge to our experiences that would be dulled by easy unthinking availability.

black friday

the four of us stumble to the mall before the crack of dawn. there is a sea of cars in the parking lot. reality nudges her way in past the morning specials as we realize that:

1. adrenaline runs out after the first five minutes.

2. the 20% off coupon that we have has expired.

3. the line at starbucks is longer than the line at macy's cashier's.

because of the above, there is unexpectedly limited financial fall-out attached to this family outing.

the bird 2

belinda reloaded.

with thanks to turkey tutorials from the food network.

the bird

meet belinda.

my thanksgiving lesson

is this:

if you defrost a turkey without precautions, you are liable to flood your refrigerator with serosanguinous brine.

barking up a tree

there is a cyberphoto of mrs obama digitally altered to resemble an ape. lots of people are up in arms over the racial slur.

this is rather disrespectful to the flotus, of course. back home, one could get sued, on grounds of defamation, or sedition. it is rude and uncalled for. as a woman i am much offended.

but, what is the racial part of the slur? the way i see it, discourtesy and digital morphing do not respect color, or shape, or source really. anyone can be remodeled. perhaps the race refers to the human version, not the black kind, so people are upset that a human gets a simian makeover.

dunnit

fresh from emotionally draining, socially terrifying encounter with the hairdresser. why do people feel obliged to make conversation?

all i want to say is, it looks shorter.

car maintenance 4

the toyota has a new battery. with the other recent acquisitions, we are now practically brand new.

as a result of much early morning drama, i have seen:

1. how to jump-start a car,

2. how to test a car battery, and

3. how to change it.

from the above i realize that the most useful car tool is a visa card.

thank God the action happens today and not tomorrow when the entire country shuts down.

wanna haircut

J1 has gone and got himself a buzz cut.

i want something similar! a jaunty spiky cut. what's holding me back:
1. the new girl, who thinks i need to grow out my hair,
2. HOM who, after nineteen years, apparently likes long tresses,
3. J2, who thinks a middle aged pixie is ridiculous, and
4. personal cowardice.

thanksgiving turkey

in preparation for our first unabridged version, we buy the bird the roasting pan the paraphernalia and HOM hunkers down to turkey tutorials on the food network. at the end of the lessons i return the turkey baster flavor injector pop-out thermometer and oven bags to the store. according to alton brown all we need are a digital meat thermometer and aluminium foil to produce the perfect bird.

he had better be right because plan b involves instant noodles.

thanksgiving 2009

for those occasions which cause us to humble ourselves, and for the strength that has come to us in our hour of weakness and despair; we rejoice and give thanks. - james e massey

a reminder that a different strength comes when i reach the end of my hoarded resources; that there is a greater majesty than i can fathom who holds at bay the fears that would torment, and who safekeeps every fragile hope that i would place in the palm of his hand.

the lord... God our savior, who daily bears our burdens. -ps 68:19

perhaps this posting belongs to the other blog.

to my son

my tattered bible is borrowed and inscribed to J1 for his fifth birthday. he is seventeen now, and has a cooler looking, leather bound edition.

twelve years is hardly long. not enough for boy to become man, for weight settle in. and not enough for mind to form and firm, for faith to grow to strength. the seasons have scuttled away the trusting cherub but i have not yet learnt to let go. hold on, i want to tell him. we're not ready. i wish him readiness for the whole world, and i wish he were more ready.

to my friend

eccl 4:9 two are better than one

everytime i think of you my heart is filled with joy,... i'm thankful for your fellowship, thankful for your partnership, thankful for the love we have in jesus christ

perspective

by faith abraham...went... even though he did not know where he was going... he made his home... like a stranger in a foreign country... for he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. -heb 11:8-10

a reminder. what is important is not:
1. tent or bricks,
2. wandering or staying,
3. three years or thirty,
but remembering that i am headed to another place regardless of the conditions of travel.

i'm thankful

for strong capable men who have foresight to update the norton and faithfully back up the laptop over all my grumbles and therefore can whip out a secret weapon when i delete ten years' worth of digital photographs with a trigger happy finger.

some people

do not care for personal space, i suppose, because some adults are able to ask without blushing, what is your score? or, how much do you make? perhaps i should ask them, how many partners have you had? but then i would blush.

the line between tackiness and amiable frankness follows the path of the ninth and tenth nerves as they form the pharyngeal reflex.

note to self

the place to scale a fish is behind a screen at the seafood counter in the store, not a residential kitchen, because after scaling the fish one will need to scale oneself as well as the kitchen counters and floors.

energy overload

by early afternoon, i have cleaned the house, injected cash into the mall, swung by the grocer's, baked and iced a batch of cookies, started a new recipe for dinner, processed three loads of laundry, and done the school run twice, in addition to which i have washed and dried my hair and cleaned up the cookie mess, all entirely of my own volition.

i don't know quite what came over me today.

the biggest one day sale

is actually a two day event, and i present myself within the first hour of the first. there are already lots of other shoppers like me, clutching coupons and navigating by catalog. eventually, in the line with my blanket, i notice many other blankets waiting too. lots of people will be warmer tonight.

cecilia

born over a texas summer, customized product of male enthusiasm super-imposed on lovingly selected online purchases. J1's favorite.

if men stopped trying to fulfil their fantasies of junkyard glory, ebay would be in trouble.

fwedewica

our latest instrument, product of a cigar box, an e-bay squire reject, and male enthusiasm. i'm calling her frederica after dick king-smith's parrot.

incomprehensible joys

Ju is a decade younger at least, lately married and freshly pregnant. she wants to know about the night feeds. i tell her, frankly, i would just enjoy the next few months, it won't be so good again for a long time.

in truth, if people counted the cost, no one would have kids. the perquisites of parenthood are appreciated only by initiates, in the secret places of their hearts. the funny thing is that the amorphous returns of parenthood somehow outweigh the definite pains, but not so you could balance on a ledger and tell it to a non-parent without sounding mushy.

rachael ray

the prototype of our dish for thanksgiving potluck in church. forgive the flaws, we are going for numbers. HOM wants to produce a multitude of these. all i say is, his sweat.

saturday lunch

is rather a bother. i should just serve cereal with milk, seeing as how people rejoin the living around noon anyway, and if you add a fruit we will be nice and balanced to boot.

eureka

the free online language translator.

now i can read that little japanese blog without squinting my way through the occasional chinese hieroglyphs. decoupage et deplacement justes. or corte y goma justos. whatever. just cut it and paste it.

it's going to be christmas

i know this because the mall has started playing christmas songs.

...it's christmastime in the city... quite before we start singing carols on sundays, nice warm feelings are already being evoked by the great marketing machines.

i am convinced that fully half the goodwill of the holiday season can be traced to subliminal encounters with norman rockwell at malls all over the country.

an awful reality

as you do not know... how the spirit enters the body being formed... eccl 11:5

before i formed thee... i knew thee; and before thou camest forth from the womb i sanctified thee... jer 1:5

the thought drives me to my knees, that the author of life holds it in such greater regard than his subjects do. chosen, set apart, fearfully and wonderfully made... how lightly we heed what we hold!

the hunt for the perfect blanket

is revived every morning, as HOM and i trawl user reviews of miracle blankets and wonder wraps after another shivery night.

the ideal candidate must:
1. be big enough.
2. be warm enough.
3. but not too warm.
4. not have little feathers that can be pulled out of its surface.
5. not be a hair magnet.
6. arrive soon.
cost is no longer a major consideration.

the art of the epistle 2

i receive an e-mail trail involving church stuff.

one person closes his e-mail with, peace. the next person closes, blessings. perhaps the next will say, joy, or comforts. i am sorely tempted to jump on the wagon and close secularly, cheerio!

two things i should stop doing

1. do my grocery marketing when i am hungry. i return with irrelevant stuff high in sugar and little else.

2. get caught in a traffic jam on the highway with a faulty gas gage waiting for the orange light to appear.

spiritual aptitude test, or snake oil?

a popular 125-question survey that promises to help identify my spiritual gifts sets me thinking.

the biggest question of all, i figure, is this: are these questions validated? which is to say, is this similar to the which mood are you / what is your love style quizzes on fb? sometimes we forget to distinguish between pretty trinkets and prosaic tools like common sense and wisdom.

art & craft

J1 has an epiphany regarding his sideline. i write better songs, he muses, when i write about what i know...

duh. that's why this blog is not about alien abduction or world peace.

this posting is in honor of my favorite song so far: to a friend.

car maintenance 3

following HOM's dalliance with youtube-guided car maintenance, my toyota now has:

new tires
newly adjusted rear brakes
new alternator belt
new radiator belt
newly flushed braking system

all professionally installed.

youtube

i am painfully subjected to two youtube videos of the self-trumpeting variety, which inspire some thoughts:

1. some topics are fine, e.g. how to change your brake-pads, or how to remove your appendix.

2. the majority is forgettable; pity the hopeful soul who produced it.

3. some topics really should be proscribed, specifically discussion of bodily functions, as bad taste does not improve with exposure.

4. some people sound better than they look; these people should not be on youtube.

5. children should be off too, because immortality can be embarrassing when you grow up.

ode to my jalopy

the cons:
the gas gage is dead.
the seatbelt sensor is dead.
the check-engine-light has a life of its own.
the brakes were dead but now resurrected.
the tires are near expiration.

the pros:
nothing you do could dent it further, short of a total job.
this includes being driven by two sets of raging teenage hormones.
we need a battered workhorse to tolerate Dog and his hair.
i only have to wash it in the rain.
it'll do, quite nicely.

the green years

a bittersweet time this, having emerged from the wilderness of childhood with its incomprehensible fears into uncertain years of daunting dependence to the thunderstorms of developing autonomy, to now, a much gentler time, and i realize this is the final season before we bid adieu to adolescence and family life as we have always known it.

car maintenance 2

it goes.
it stops.
the strange squeak is gone.
yess. heroes.
next: tires.

the art of car maintenance

HOM and i have spent the day trekking the car mechanic trail. our final stop is the auto parts store, where we meet an enthusiastically helpful fellow, as a result of which, we are no longer shopping for a mechanic. instead, over my absolute reservations, we have shopped for the brake pads and rotor as well as brake cleaner grease tools and halogen lamp.

HOM and J1 are now in the garage, fully seduced into the d-i-y brigade. with youtube at their side, they are attempting to give my toyota new brakes.

update: HOM and J1 are making our third trip to the store tonight, for another missing part. update 2: we are back from our fourth trip.