competence (again)

realtor n. (syn.) real estate agent; housing agent; real estate professional (joke). having met various specimens on both sides of the ocean and in different parts of the country, the inescapable conclusion i draw is, they're good at sales talk. not to be confused with actual processing of information through the cerebra.

come to think of it, this post might also apply to:

lawyer n. (syn.) advocate; counsel; legal adviser (joke?).

bank officer n. (syn.) financier; broker; relationship manager (again, joke).

perhaps not the lawyer, if he sticks to his mandate.

the one professional who i would not dream of blogging about, and to whom we are abjectly in deference, is the accountant n. who unravels HOM's taxes.

weeds, chap. 2

the problem is now i would much rather look at my blog than at the front yard.

mundane stuff that made up today

i am having a mid-life meltdown. my baby's started drivers' ed. soon we will have two sets of raging teenage hormones to contend with.

on another note, the dampp-chaser is finally installed. i no longer fear that colonies of fungi will creep into the innards of my beloved piano.

HOM says he is bringing home a supper treat for me. it's an orange-nie, which is like a brownie, only a different color. supper is unquestionably my favorite meal of the day.

incidentally, the weeds no longer look like weeds. they cover the ground uniformly, and the azalea bushes just look like taller weeds.

weed nirvana

n. (referring to flower bed trespasses) a state of exuberant abundance achieved by weeds that cause related humans to avert their eyes.

i no longer wish to be associated with my front yard.

wedding party

have just watched the highly rated jill peterson / kevin heinz boogieing-up-the-aisle video , which makes me feel hip and up-to-date. except i find it hard to share in the general bonhomie, because the context is off. they would have done better gyrating up a hotel function room.

but get this. if you are a white adult male, a little bit plump, and you wear a tan suit to a wedding, you would look best bald. watch the video. the bald guy is cool.

dream wheels

let's say, says J1, we are a two car family and you can have any car you choose. meaning if i choose a nice little sedan then HOM will go for a nice big sedan; or if i choose a workhorse then HOM gets luxury. what would i have?

no-brainer that. i'll have me a nifty little smartcarfortwo in burgundy or olive green. because:

1. it's beyond cute,

2. my taxi duties would sharply decrease (only J2 and Dog would be seen in it), and

3. i wouldn't have to give up the keys (HOM and J1 would rather walk).

of course, if HOM had the choice, he would have a convertible, which we all know is every man's mid-life crisis.

two minutes of fame

J2 wakes me up in the night, all excited because she has just googled and found me on the world wide web. where, i ask? here:

1. on facebook. haha.

2. on an old professional site from a previous life.

3. on a letter i wrote to the press from my pre blogger days.

i agree with her that this discovery is worthy of my sleep.

what is the term for this narcissistic plugging of one's name into search engines?

car insurance - in honor of J1 getting his license

why do we want to pay through our noses for the privilege of allowing a set of raging teenage hormones free rein on the roads of virginia and of setting ourselves up for endless worry from now on?

iz jet lag

that mushes up my brain so i cannot prepare for the clinical exam.
that enervates me so last year's rubbish is still sitting on the pile.
that lulls me to sleep before the sun goes down each night.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzz zzzz z zz z z z zz.
i need the weekend to come sooner.

it's not jet lag

it's just these pockets of unutterable lassitude that unaccountably assail me.

obama

has become the go-to fellow for pithy rhetoric on the issue of the day. you can bet your bottom dollar he will have a quotable quote for mj... walter cronkite... ahmadinejad... greedy financiers... big oil... global warming...

so, in doubt, ask wdos? what does obama say?

summer memories

thru many dangers toils and snares/ i have already come/ 'tis grace that brought me safe thus far/ and grace will lead me home.

that pretty much summarizes our summer home trip. i'm thankful for blessing upon blessing and undeserved answers to unbelieving prayer. i'm amazed that God gave everything we prayed for, and more. the bad dream i feared has turned out to be rich, busy, fruitful and heartwarming.

and your strength will equal your days. (deut 35:25)

road to normality

back in va and stumbling our way to regular function. my to-do list:
1. unpack (conscripted help)
2. buy milk, so we can make coffee
3. collect mail from post office
4. collect Dog from pet boarding
5. caress the piano a little
6. attack mound of laundry
7. wake up in the first part of this morning... did!
8. hope newspaper delivery resumes... does!
9. read thru grocery adverts and coupon offers
10. attack mound of mail sitting on the breakfast table... rats

i finally feel at home:
1. on realizing the dryer is at my disposal again
2. and after jamming with HOM.

din tai fung

is my absolute hands down favorite place to eat in singapore. the next time i can, i will dine alone with an entire, mine-only basket of xiao long bao's. perhaps two.

good old k.e. hall

i stop by the hospital and find that my home of five years back in the 80's has been chopped up. in its place is the spanking new super swanky second medical school... aaaaaargh. how could they possibly do this? to discount decades of beloved history and decommission the old med fac, ah leng's canteen, mcalister house etc, and then to carve up k.e.vii hall and implant a shiny modern monstrosity in its place.

oftentimes the price of progress is incomprehensible. in another generation the only historic buildings we have will be the rebuilt plasticised heritage buildings in chinatown or little india or geylang serai. if sepoy lines was not historic enough to be left undisturbed, nothing is safe from urban redevelopment.

also, the new building sticks out like a sore thumb amidst the neighboring (now quasi-) pre-war structures.

step 2 ck - yippee

there is a deliciously bubbly sensation wriggling its way out of me... how absolutely lovely to pass another exam in the late summer of my life!

avarice

lured by the exhibited freebie in the window, our entire family migrates hopefully into the bowels of the bank. many hours later, and two teenagers less, HOM and I emerge with new accounts and the promise that the freebies will soon be ours (one red and one green, like a christmas tree).

but the bank officer! he of the spiked up hair and wet skin behind his ears! he of the rapidly automatic speech and glib salesmanship! he needs to learn to discuss financial risk and potential loss without touching wood in every other sentence. it is terribly unprofessional to be invoking animistic protection during a financial counseling session.

but i learn something interesting: it is permissible to commit suicide from the second year onwards after one buys a life insurance policy.

parenting - midlife perspective

how priorities change, and baby innocence becomes an uncomfortable awareness, and childish pursuits so quickly become sophisticated! what i have learned at this mid-point of parenting J1 and J2 are:

1. that God has been pleased to bring them up in spite of us. thank God that he has made whole what i would otherwise have destroyed. thank God that he has been pleased to grow them in faith and maturity and grace, over the insecurity and fears and anxieties of their mother!

2. that the most important thing i can do is pray for them. which is what every older pastor tells parents like me, and my sophisticated mind goes, really? but really, i think, because God hears my prayers, and he grants what i pray for that is aligned to his will, and what is more aligned than that my children should walk faithfully with their Lord?

3. that i need to let them go, the world is their destiny. the greatest gift i received from my parents, i think, is that they dared to let me leave home, make my way, suffer my mistakes, and not intrude upon the life i was struggling to shape.

4. that above all i must love their father as my best friend, my lover, my partner - because in order to successfully let them go i must have something beautiful left behind, which is my realtionship with their other parent.

so if i had a young parent to tell, this is what i would say:

• God is bigger than your mistakes
• pray for your children to be faithful
• be brave and let them go
• build your marriage before your family

around singapore

we meet a frisky black lab bringing his six minders for a foray into the train station. cheerful pup bounds ahead sniffing for terrorists, or a bomb, or a bone. one wonders why he needs a posse of earnest looking law enforcement guys to accompany him, is all.

there is a new fashion afoot on orchard road - skin tight black leather-looking leggings painted onto shapely young legs, paired with mile high heels attached to strap-up sandals. the combination is always so amazing that my eyes have not yet travelled higher than the thighs.

the weather is a challenge. we used to scorn those wasteful angmohs who had their a/c on all day. how the proud have fallen! if i could have the a/c on 25/7 i would gladly do so.

food diary - malacca

in order of yumminess:
otah (oleh sayang)
fish head curry (nancy's kitchen)
itik tim soup (o.s.)
cendol (n.k.)

also rans:
kaya puff
ayam pongteh gravy (n.k.)
kangkong belachan
portuguese baked fish

stuff

1. shoe shopping with two teenagers. ten thousand pairs later, we successfully acquire a new pair.

2. gravid uteri, dressed in various babydoll and miniskirted fashions. back in the day, one would not have been seen dead in some of the garb.

3. all manner of amputated limbs busking on orchard road, that inspire a mix of pity and gothic horror.*

4. clods on train seats. do they truly not see?

5. clods in public. can they truly not give way?

*there is something fishy here. one suspects:

1. that busking has become a career option post-amputation.

2. that there is a roster to ensure equitable distribution of time slots to limb stubs.

i am torn between compassion and outrage. an almost-art form has been bastardized into a form of financial/emotional harrasment.

codicil

the bibik luster is unfortunately dulled by an enthusiastic hammer drill.

hotel puri malacca

spending these two nights at a boutique hotel (what's that?) and being happily surprised at the meticulous detail that a local (malaysian) hotel is able to drum up. which sounds terribly condescending, but hey i've had a lifetime of shoddy workmanship with cracked plaster and cheap tiles. this is a lovingly vintage old bibik who charms without ostentation or cheapness.

mortality

much like how a new season creeps in to settle amid the dregs of the previous season, i find that middle-age has quietly slipped into my life. my first pair of progressive lenses are allowing me to function at focal lengths i have forgotten. it is no accident that the crows' feet are more defined.

so, i notice, does winter hasten away the glorious hues of fall to establish her own cold beauty.

trivial pursuit

having established ourselves in an apartment in town for the next two weeks, i am faced with a difficult decision. should i allow us to slip into an evolving pigsty scenario, or should i attempt to clean up? how ghastly that this should even constitute a choice.

food diary

wonton mee
chicken rice
beef rendang
kookee yong tau foo
yong tau foo (generic)
tiong bahru fish porridge
raw fish salad (t.b.)*
kangkong belachan
fishball kwayteow
fish horfun
tahu telor
satay
hokkien mee
grilled stingray
oyster omelet
fried carrot cake
church porridge
chee cheong fun
pork floss bread
pohpiah

chendol
pandan roll
loupoh peng
tausar piah
muachee
iced jelly
youtiao
kopi si

yum. i obviously have to work on the desserts.
*my absolute favorite

singapore notes

an absence of two years and i fancy things have changed somewhat. for e.g.:

1. service is more pleasant, i think. for the most part still bumbling, but pleasant, puerile bumbling, instead of the old heedless indifference. is it the recession, or have i been fortunate?

2. the public transport has improved. i appreciate the new boards that tell me when my next bus will turn up, and i have finally learned to use the time-tables at the stops. not to mention the virtuous feeling i get everytime i resist a taxi.

3. the american embassy has implemented a queue by internet appointment system that is an unbelievable improvement over the past appointment by begging queue by early bird system.

some things have not changed:

1. how far the relatives live from orchard road, where we are.

2. how crowded the place is, and how noisy.

3. how quickly the gut responds to the oil.

4. how busy J1's social life is.

we've been traveling for so long i'm in withdrawal for:

1. Dog. we are all missing his unquestioning sweetness, which is in short supply in humans.

2. the quiet of my own fortress.

3. the piano and the music.

postscript

feeling considerably more kindly disposed towards bollywood now, thanks to our upgrade to a mini-suite following the bash. wheeeeee!