truism

my google quote of the day is from aristotle:

it is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

it strikes me that it is the hallmark of a mother's mind to be able to not just entertain unpalatable thoughts but to anticipate them. we all know that mothers of teenagers have minds like kitchen sinks; perhaps this slips aristotle's mind.

ugh

in an austeneque moment, i watch persuasion variously translated onto the screen, courtesy of youtube. it proves to be a major error. captain wentworth and anne elliot are too fully formed in my mind's eye for me to accept three competing incarnations of them (1971, 1995, 2007) in the space of a couple of hours. i find captain w too hairy, too plain, too embarrasing. i find anne too transparent, too unpretty, too bovine.

and i'll bet my bottom dollar you don't find public mouth to mouth kissing in regency england. dear jane would turn over in her grave.

gah.

anatomy of myalgia

my back hurts.

my neck hurts.

my skin hurts.

my eyes hurt.

sounds hurt.

i don't want to cook dinner.

persuasion - jane austen (1816)

i've just finished rereading this classic rendition of the restrained tendresse genre, where half the story takes place in anne elliot's thoughts. this is vastly different from today's romances, where the hero and heroine draw all manner of uninhibited sparks from each other on their way to some soft porn action.

of all the showdown scenes i know, this is the most moving, where anne says (and not even to frederick wentworth), all the privilege i claim... is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone, and the reader knows she is speaking from heartbreak.

this is hands down my all time favorite chick lit book.

bombastic froth

this is how a politician blusters at the botched handling of the latest motrin recall:

it is a moral outrage for a company specifically marketing its products for children to allow a culture of neglect and irresponsibility to taint the medicines that parents and physicians trust to help children get well.

why can he not just say,

this is dishonest and they shouldn't have done it this way.

there is simple talking, simplistic talking, and there is balderdash.

reflections on kant

act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other,

never merely as a means to an end,

- fidelity

- veracity

- justice

but always at the same time as an end.

- autonomy

- beneficence

- non-malevolence

our hallowed pillars in a nice neat nutshell, kant's major handicap being the extremely convoluted manner in which he presents his ideas.

references:

a simplified version of kant's ethics: perplexities of famine and world hunger, onora o'neill.

kant's categorical imperative, second formulation.

weariness

precious lord, take my hand, lead me on let me stand; i am tired i am weak i am worn; through the storm through the night lead me on to the light; take my hand precious lord lead me home.

-thomas dorsey

the fig tree buds not the olive crop fails the laborer is weary.

in summary

what i have learnt in the past year, technologically and independently of HOM:
1. how to create a link,
2. sıɥʇ op oʇ ʍoɥ, and
3. how to do this.

lesson for today

i finally learn how to go from

to

thanks to J2 and some ingenuity, which for a lifelong technophobe is a pretty achievement indeed.

chicken mcnuggets

we decide to clog our arteries for tea and i nip down to our neighborhood macdonald's to find it all shuttered up. this makes it our second established local food place to exit in under a month. this is horrible. you would think teenager centric fastfood chains would be last to be touched by the downturn.

my new resolution

is not to cut my hair for at least a couple of months so that i can have something resembling options.

sunday

today i:

awaken before the crack of dawn

drive two teenagers

over forty miles

in the dark

through a cataractous storm

and am home by half past six. that would be ante meridiem. all i say is, thank God. for the privilege, for the safety, and now, for the lull before church.

speaking of the weather

hailstones for J2's prom.
thunder & lightning for J1's.

it's enough to put a body off proms.

carwash

in honor of J1's senior prom and related pick-up duties, the toyota gets an eleventh hour quasi-scrub which successfully removes an exuberant pile of bird excrement from the door, although Dog's hairs on the upholstery defeat us.

windex, the blue paper towels, some tap water, and low standards can do a passable job. i miss HOM*, who would never clean a car the way i have.

*away on business again.

middle ages

this is an accidental purchase that i am loath to be seen reading on account of the large print claim. unfortunately it turns out to be my most comfortable read in a long time. how the proud are marched from reading glasses to progressive lenses to increasing print size!

to a friend

should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne? for auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne, we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne.  - robert burns

i have a new old friend on facebook. we go back a time, but the years that we have are fewer than the years we lose to busyness and to life. when we are young and arrogantly immortal, i think, it is easy to defer friendship to another day.

with A, i go back to when i am J1's age now. there are not, perhaps, many lifetimes left in which to celebrate an affection as old as this. i would raise a cup to ye yet, and gladly too, friend.

audubon

what i've learnt trying to photograph the birds:
1. birds + trees = great camouflage.
2. they favor higher branches.
3. birdcalls vary according to species (surprise!).
4. cool weather is preferred.
5. i could use an image stabilizer and a longer zoom.

J2 suggests we get a birdhouse and be done with stalking but i say that's just mercenary.

general election

this land is blessed with a powerful mediocrity of mind. it has saved you from communism and it has saved you from fascism. in the end, you don't care enough about ideas to suffer their consequences.  - attributed to george steiner.   - the english - jeremy paxman (1998)

i have an epiphany reading this. here, in this description of another people, is the reason singaporeans do not partake of issues or causes. we are firmly grounded in utilitarian realpolitik, fundamentally unimpressed by high falutin' ideals and most comfortable with any prevailing state.

we are what you get when you cross chinese pragmatism with english mediocrity in the colonial crucible.

productivity

J1 rents a tux for his prom.

it's an efficient affair. do you want shoes? what's your shoe size? here are the packages and the prices. choose your style. do you want a shirt? a tie or a bowtie? what color is she wearing? how tall are you? here are the terms and conditions. sign here please. here's the amount. do you want to pay a deposit or in full? out in ten minutes.

contrast this to the protracted agony of a girl finding her perfect dress.

jenny craig

i weigh myself, strip, shower, and weigh again. i gain almost a pound.

perhaps a weight loss strategy is to dispense with daily ablutions.

lesson of the day

this sign is apparently called the dog's bollocks :–
which i must admit is a sight more descriptive than what i usually call it, the dot-dot-with-the-line.

sudden light

i'm inexplicably on an uncharacteristic mission to photograph my backyard birds. the first two birds that i notice on a whim have differentiated into robins cardinals little birds big birds spotted speckled yellow blue grey and black birds. spring suddenly brings more than flowers.

this is nice and refreshing to my jaded palate but it is rather humbling that it has taken four decades and a half to come about.

i want to catch him up close and IN FOCUS.

hypomania

today i:

sit down to bagels and cream cheese with our houseguests and HOM

pack everybody off on their respective journeys

process three loads of laundry

vacuum the upstairs

scrub the loos

grocery shop

gasp

all before lunch. i must be an efficient machine clipping at my chores, but it feels like a whirlwind has ripped through me.

watchdog

Dog is tremendously excited to have houseguests. he is steadfastly in sight of their bedroom door and enthusiastically informs us of their comings and their goings. very alert and proactive of him.

sale generating publication

target advertisement

i call 'em hoses.

hgtv 2

one of my six re-upholstered dining chairs, courtesy of some plywood, foam, my late tablecloth and some man toys.

the tool for the year award goes to the stapler gun.

this is the culmination of a four year consumption of designed to sell and other d i y shows.

hgtv

HOM has a sudden urge to replace our dining chair seats, so we find ourselves at home depot, together with many other men, looking at lumber electric saws work tables and drills. mucho macho.

i contribute a tablecloth to upholster the seats with.

all cleaned up

Dog, freshly home from the groomer's. now we are ready for our company this weekend.

fee fi fo fum

J2 has a date to the prom.

our family is quietly roiling in nerves. HOM is up in arms of paternal protectiveness. i am torn between long cherished principles of trust and fair play and pure maternal anxiety. even J1 is making proprietary noises.

i can't wait for everything to be over when she is deposited safely at our doorstep again.

bipolar

yesterday's high: 58

today's high: 80

tomorrow's high: 63

day after's high: 87

blowing hot and cold.

wayfaring stranger

J1 asks me which i prefer, to have a job that pays to own my schedule so that i uproot at another's whim, or to move where i want and hopefully to find a job where i end up.

i tell him that a young bride never thinks she is marrying a nomad. she thinks to put down roots and build a home. but i confess, for all the impermanence, it's been a good ride.

company

HOM's high school friend is coming to stay this weekend. they go back more than half a lifetime.

it is easy to make acquaintances who may then become friends, but if we are very blessed, sometimes the friendships last the years.

new addition

we are done with the ivy.

rush hour

J2 and i get stuck at checkout at the grocer's because the lady ahead of us:

1. has an overflowing cart,

2. reviews each item's location in her bags,

3. discusses the merits of her purchases with the cashier, and

4. finally, dithers about whether she needs help with her 101 bags.

which is all to the merit of the long suffering cashier and hearkens back to a gentler more indolent age, but is tough on the rest of us snaking up behind her.

confession

i give J2 some moolah to produce the stuff i need to bring to pot luck dinner tonight.

one day, some lucky people will realize my daughter can cook and bake and knit and use a sewing machine and figure that she has been taught by a veritable supermom.

they would however be completely mistaken. the skills have not come from me.

mother's day dinner

cream of mushroom soup

filet mignon

vegetable chutney

french bread

blackberries with sherbet

mini cupcakes

the filet mignon catches fire and sets off the alarm but nevertheless tastes divine.

mother's day

my family banishes me from the kitchen on account of cooking me dinner, so i betake myself shopping. i land in the kitchen supply shop and note that today it is full of men and their children shopping for the ladies of the home.

what i want to say is, you can say whatever you want about crass commercialism and shallow materialism, but it warms my heart to see husbands and children, mine included, take such trouble.

thank you.

carpe diem

J2 qualifies for her driver's license today.

it is both a non-event and a huge milestone. my children are resolutely leaving childhood behind. today i realize that our repeated decisions to uproot together over many moves to multiple locations have kept us together, and can no longer keep us together.

it makes me gratefully glad and indescribably sad.

murder most foul

these are why HOM is reluctant to let me loose in a thrift store these days.

muzak

composers that i dislike, no matter how often they play them on the radio:
1. the russians,
2. the americans,
3. the english, and
4. some germans.

hospice

despite every diligence and in keeping with tradition, my poor ivy grows more emaciated daily, with leaves that detach at the slightest touch in a bizarrely botanical nicholsky's sign. J2 wants our next attempt to be an orchid.

hubris

...great and unsearchable things you do not know.  - jer 33:3

how often in arrogant presumption do we think we can confine neatly or comprehend sufficiently! we say, i understand, and nod sagely. or, this is how it should be, and we think we know when actually we have no idea.

he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it - the LORD is his name.  - jer 33:2

blogger recovery

my quick edit pencil is mysteriously restored, which goes to show that if you wait long enough stuff eventually gets fixed. perhaps this is a variant of the law of entropy.

statecraft

the brits go to the polls tomorrow and i am actually interested in the outcome. obviously as a native south east asian it goes rather against the grain:

1. to even follow political news, and

2. to consider that electoral conclusions are not pre-cast in stone.

here's my take on

the americans: partisan politics by issue personality and scandal.

the brits: partisan politics by personality and gaffe*. issues are waylaid this time.

the thais: politics by personality shirt color and numerical superiority.

the malaysians: politics by personality and clandestine cooperation.

the singaporeans: politics by personality and litigation.

*nothing in recent memory beats that bigoted woman.

spring

what the poets don't tell you about the season:
1. the heat,
2. the rains,
3. the pests,
4. the pollen,
5. the uncertainty of imminent change, and
6. the hearbreak of certain farewells.

my favorite is always autumn, with its careless glory and spent gaiety.

supper

the cupcakes that HOM and J2 make, and the marshmallows that do not make it.