operating instructions

here is how we print a document:

1. click print on the computer.
2. wait five minutes.
3. utter mild imprecation.
4. disconnect printer.
5. wait one minute.
6. reconnect printer.
7. shut down computer.
8. restart computer.
9. click print on the computer.
10. repeat every 5-10* documents.

*depending on time of day the weather or color of grass.

here is how we scan a document:

1. refer to above.
2. substitute scan for print.

my sincere feelings for hewlett-packard are born of intimate personal experience.