lesson

he who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

- proverbs 21:23

it is my heartfelt conviction that, next to learning to let a child go, the toughest lesson a parent has to learn is how to keep her mouth firmly shut when the insides are just boiling to spew forth.

diaper changes and the alphabet got nuthin' on this, baby.

change of season

i switch the a/c off today. 

this gives me an inexplicable but delicious feeling of anticipation for the rest of the year.

if you are like me, perhaps you notice too that today is the last day of september, and sigh, just a little.

college app

J2 shows me her college app essays. they are like rice paintings to me, full of metaphorical minimalist brush strokes.

back in the day, we presented school records and listed our choices in order of preference. then we had an interview and talked about how we intended to integrate profession and family. it was all very literal. the stakes weren't too high because frankly we didn't know any better.

what i mean to say is, i don't think i could get into college today.

a dark & stormy night

Dog spends the night pretending to be invisible on our bedroom rug. his sighs and grunts weave their way into my sleep.

Dog has refuge from the storm but now i have an entire library of dreams to recover from.

memento mori

he no longer sprints across the fields. he lumbers and stops and lumbers. 

in defense

i am ... a Jew, born in Tarsus, a city in Cilicia, yet brought up in this city at the feet of Gamaliel, and taught according to the perfect manner of the law of the fathers, and was zealous toward God, as ye all are this day.  - acts 22:3

how amazing that God calls in spite of all that we are

and that he uses all that we are.

mva

J2 backs the car into the garage wall and beyond. it is, as she describes it, a case of mistaken identity involving pedal positions and blind panic.

J2 is appalled into silence. my smart-mouthed quick-witted fierily confident daughter is so dazed that she actually keeps silent. shock does amazing things to people.

another spidiot

here, skim through this:

Dearest,

May the peace of GOD  be upon you.

I am Mrs. Koh Li Peng from Singapore, suffering from cancerous ailment.I am married to late Mr. Richard Stanley, an American and former Chief Executive Officer of DBS Bank Ltd. My husband was diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukaemia, a cancer of the blood and bone marrow, 11 April 2009 after a brave fight with the disease he died. Our life together as man and wife lasted for two decades with three children.

My husband died after a protracted illness. He and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who couldn't help themselves due to physical disabilities or financial predicaments. I can adduce this to the fact that while on his sick bed, he gave his life to the Lord. Although, while still alive, he had safe deposit worthy $35 million US Dollars toa Security and Finance Firm which were derived from his vast estae, corporate investments in capital market around the Southeast Asian Regions andhad given an instruction to give out exactly half of the total sum to charity. Please, click the website for more :http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/421655/1/.html

Although, the money is still with the finance firm, my doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to my cancerous problems, which I am suffering from right now. I had delayed in obeying my husband?s instructions to donating this money and have recently had anencounter with him in dream, while on my sick bed and still insisting that I adheared to his instruction of giving out this money, I am now, left with less option but to contact you immediately, as I feel my situation has been due to my ignorance to giving out this money long ago. I have taken this decision in good fate and I do not want my husband's hard earned money to be misused. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner hence, the reason for taking this bold decision.

Showing you willingness I would request you to kindly provide me with your personal information as below:i) Full Names, ii) Home/Office Address, iii) Fax/Mobile/Land Phones iv) Age, v) Sex, vi) Occupation & Copy of Valid Identification respectively.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the full details of the Finance Firm and. Please always be prayerful all through your life and assure me that you will act just as I have advised. I await your urgent response soon and remain bless.

Yours Sincerely,

Mrs. Koh Li Peng

what i want to ask is, HOW STUPID DO YOU TAKE ME TO BE?

HOM wants to know why i bother to take note. i have to for this one, i say. her hopeful brainlessness is astounding, even for this genre.

the agony & the ecstasy

reading this week:

bad science - ben goldacre. ♥
dreams and shadows - robin wright
ethics - d bonhoeffer. slow, i know. but you can't speed-read this.

the new facebook

they've gone and introduced a slew of stuff to wade through again, all working, one supposes, towards that day when we can all be easily and systematically fleeced as we network on the global stage.

what i like:

the acquaintances list. here is where i put the people that i regret friending but do not have the courage to unfriend yet. repent at leisure and all that.

what i really want:

a dislike button and a you don't say? button. i bet you these will add a nice nuance to our responses and pre-empt some regrettable comments.

google+

talk about helping you along their way.

domestic slob

household tip #1: do not tumble dry a black knit sweater together with a white dress shirt, because by murphy's and several related laws the black will latch onto the white despite the presence of lots of other concurrent pieces in the dryer.

today i iron HOM's dress shirt with a lint remover.

my commercial hate list

1. t-shirts labels. icky itchy things.
2. merchandise price stickers. sticky you know?
3. shoe size 6-10. some people are 5 1/2.
4. bleeding colors. duh.

too hard to stir

fresh from ben goldacre's inspiring lessons, i've been trying to digest this. it is an intellectual exercise in futility. was it for this the clay grew tall?

diplopia

a totally unintended effect mind you.

i keep looking and turning away and looking again

and it still looks in focus and in double.

bad science - ben goldacre (2008)

this should be subtitled statistics and ebm for the dummy. i'm feeling enormously empowered after reading it. bring on the numbers! i want to say. deal me the studies! see me go beyond the abstract! watch me critique the m & m!

incidentally, here is the synopsis of a meta-analysis that gladdens the heart. chocophiles worldwide are finally vindicated.

emancipation 2

it feels naked. i feel blind.

but the best feeling is not to feel the frames on my nose and behind my ears.

wheeeee!

emancipation

four decades of eyeglasses later i am on monovision contact lenses. that's contact lenses for people who require correction for distance and for reading, so, as he explains it, one eye looks into the distance and the other eye reads.

what i suddenly realize is, those dinky frames have been shielding me from a whole bunch of crow's feet, that's what.

=_=

just had one of those weekends that you need a weekend to recover from. these days it's becoming easier to get one of those.

letting go is hard to do

the sign says, annual used books sale! and i find myself turning into the car park, quite against my every better resolution. there is magic in the air, i'm telling you. the sight! the smell! the smiles! the hustle and the bustle! the bags! the boxes! the tables! 

i've crossed the electronic barrier but my heart's with them paper books now. 

ablutions update

the skies alas they open.

ablutions 3

chance of rain today: 30%.

short of that time with hurricane Irene i haven't taken such an active personal interest in the weather forecast in months. 

jer 29:11

the leaves are turning red!

this is the longest we have been in any place in twelve years. 

i think this year, if we are here for autumn i shall plant tulip bulbs.

ablutions 2

here is our living room rug, three days later, painstakingly suspended atop an assortment of table chairs and little tikes stools. chance of thunderstorm today: 30%.

as we keep telling Dog, it's all his fault.

useful info

here is the answer to the nagging question every one of us avid facebook-ers must have asked at one time or other: what happens to my facebook account when i die? we get a niche in the online columbarium, no less. 

social media meets internet geekdom meets miss manners.

spare me

there is a pernicious habit that ranks even higher than spidiocy in offensiveness, and that is the way some people have of sidling up to you with their kids' fundraising card and girl scouts cookies and banking on your polite capitulation to the unspoken demand for cash. i rank this up there with people unblushingly peddling their home-cooked food/tour to china/insurance policies/tupperware to unsuspecting friends and acquaintances.

the warm cocoon of mutual regard and respect is under threat.

howdy!

after the earthquake hurricane and tropical storm

the flooding and power outages and road closures

the economy and the partisanship

and the sick dog

you tend to appreciate a nice day a lot more.

ablutions

here is our living room rug, cleaner than it has ever been in all its years with us, as a consequence of Dog's tummy discomfort. we even get to discover pretty new flowers in the border where an amorphous beige used to preside.

dysania

i have a bone-deep, limb-weighting, brain-softening attack of dysania this afternoon.

new word

dysania n. the state of finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning. [f. Gk. dus and wiktionary]

i call it the five-minute syndrome. this has the advantage of pithy characterization (5 minutes more...) as well as the potential for indefinite expansion (5 more minutes...).

blushworthy 2

now, i hold that one has an incontrovertible right to make an ass of oneself, in the honorable tradition of freedom of speech an' all.

but i do think one should pause before doing so. as i tell HOM, if he makes a fool of himself he looks stupid and perhaps his family is discomfited. but when an elder statesman does so an entire nation blushes with him.

the seven dials mystery - a christie (1929)

shades of the secret adversary and jane austen's mr collins in a delicious romp through post-war still-gentrified england. lord Caterham tries to dissuade an ardently misguided suitor: i really shouldn't if i were you. just go home and think it over like a good fellow. count twenty. all that sort of thing. always a pity to propose and make a fool of yourself.

this is dame agatha at her irreverent best, effectively and effortlessly spoofing the thriller. jolly good fun, even if the plot is strangely familiar.

blushworthy

read this. in summary, the q & a goes like this:

earnest young lady: what can we do to create a sense of belonging and foster social cohesiveness?

elder statesman: how old are you? are you married? do you have a boyfriend? don't waste time. i hope you get a boyfriend.

this could become the textbook example of the non sequitur.

i spy with my little eye...

the sun! :D

spidiots

we receive this email from an online idiot:

Dear Friend,              

My name is Mr. Andy Chang, I trained and work as an external auditor for the MayBank Malaysia.A late investor who bears the same last name with you has left (USD 10M)with Our Bank for the past Eight years and no next of kin has come forward all these years.

Please get back with your full name, date of birth, telephone number and fax number on my private EMAIL(andy.chang28@yahoo.com.my)

Best Regards.

Andy Chang

i am sorely tempted to reply:

Mr Chang

whatever possesses you to think i would be interested?

this bears repetition: spidiocy [f. eng SPAM + IDIOCY] ranks right up there with the most execrable of online offenses. 

rain, rain, go away

overstaying its welcome, is what it is.

the agony & the ecstasy

what i'm reading this week:

unnatural causes - p d james

the seven dials mystery - agatha christie

ethics - bonhoeffer

dog day

Dog has what i can only euphemistically call a colonic malfunction on our persian rug. he has it on two separate spots.

all i can say is, it certainly puts his gastric malfunction on the floor tiles entirely into perspective.

if the clean-up works i am going to be a fan of oxy stain and odor remover™ for life.

olfaction

if you ask me, there are two smells a home-owner would do well to learn to recognize:

• the smell of a rotten egg, and
• that of a dead rat in the attic.

alphabet soup

syria, libya

qaddafi, mubarak

am i the only getting mixed up?

west river

we're back from church retreat.

all i say is, in a minimal-expectations brain-on-vacation forgiveness-mandated set up, a speaker who is able to keep time stay focussed and be relevant is an especially desirable commodity. in fact i will stick my neck out and say that anything less is a waste of people's time, whether they appear to mind or not.

the views were great and the food was good.

me cuppa

regular exclusive blend. hazelnut flavored. chocolate orange. decaf. sugar. equal. neither. milk. half & half. creamer. vanilla. macadamia nuts. peanuts? plastic stirrer. wooden sticks. s. m. l. lids.

welcome to your caffeine beverage station, previously known as the coffee pot.

september

J2 comes home with the beginning-of-school-year pack. i write out a small fortune in checks to the ptsa the graduation party the class dues and the fashion apparel. i volunteer to proctor exams. i sign my consent and my assent. i register health and address and contact information. i mumble continuously about unnecessary frivolity and frills.

my daughter is a rising senior. this is my last year doing this. the bittersweet starts now.