Wednesday, September 30, 2009

pre-menstrual diatribe

i receive a goodie pack in the post with christmas stickers, gift tags, calendar, and personalized address stickers, in addition to a heart-rending request to my first name for a donation.

this is like another envelope marked, statement enclosed, thereby ensuring i open it. it contains a thanksgiving statement(!!*#) as well as the bleed-'em-dry plea.

sometimes nickels accessorize the entreaties, because only a cad would keep the nickel and not give more in return. i am an embittered cad who callously removes the coins and discards the paper.

all this organized, unashamed soliciting gets my goat. who are they to presume upon my charity, or my gullibility, or my guilty conscience, or even my amiability? or, in truth, upon my laziness, my ineptitude, and my loose change?

my message to the sponsors: fuhget it. when i give, i make my own considered choice and give directly. when i want gift tags, or address stickers, i get my own and pay for them. and if i like your stuff, i will keep it and use it, and i won't feel bad.

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