role play

it turns out my smartphone has been accessing the worldwide web on its own accord over the past month and racking up a whopping data usage bill on my behalf. J2 runs through my settings and disables the offending button. you've got to know what you authorize, mom, she says, with all the authority and exasperation of omniscient youth. i can't be here to bail you out every time. actually, her exact words are, what are you going to do when i'm not here to do this for you?

right. i stand chastised.

decision algorithms

to awaken before the dawn and spend an arm and a leg taking a cab in the wee hours to meet your father at the airport coming in from his trans-atlantic flight, or to await a more pragmatic hour and meet him at the hotel, at a considerably less painful pinch to your (limited, military-sized) wallet? 

i cannot begin to tell you how proud i am of your choice, i tell my son. that's mushy, he says. that, too.

oops

i take HOM to the airport, which you would think is a nice thing to do on a sunday afternoon for a husband going off on a business trip.

we forget that for over a decade he has depended on the limousine service. this leaves us happily leaving home without checking which airport which terminal and without our cellphones. next time, i want to tell him, we say goodbye at our front door. that way you'll definitely get there.

tangled threads

this is our summer vacation plan:

he wants to come.
she wants to go.
he needs to go.
i will stay.
all at the same time.

i'm thinking i would like to hide me 'ead in the sand for a bit.

obit 2

on the heels of this my friend reminds me of your you're and there they're their, which are interchangeable these days.

i wonder. do they arise and spread from spellcheck malfunction pedagogic failure or straight up incompetence? because dis is evltn. d othr is clearly grammatical.

interregnum

there is a glorious period during the parent-child journey when a parent is able to have an adult-level intellectual discussion with her child because the child actually believes the parent has something useful to say and the parent in fact enjoys the exchange of ideas. this period emerges hesitantly from the ravages of the teenage years and, while you are still marveling, slinks off into the jungle of the college years.

the college challenge 2

how to do the college challenge successfully without losing sight of the main objective, which is, well, getting a college education.

the college challenge

how to pack the most functionally minimized conglomerate of impediments and their accessories that can sustain a body over a period of time without taking up any substantial volume if possible.

king of shadows

he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;

... he was bruised for our iniquities;

- isaiah 53

in all their affliction he was afflicted,

- isaiah 63:9

how ironic that the focus is so often on the iniquities

that it is easy to forget he also carries the griefs.

the God who is sorrowed by my sin

also shares in my human sorrows.

the God of my redemption from sin

is also the God of my griefs.

the friday night knitting club - kate jacobs (2007)

quite simply a celebration of women's friendships and second chances, and the most enjoyable book i've read this year to date. also, i almost want to start knitting again.

they should make an official chick lit subgenre of these women's friendship books that come in trade sized paperbacks with subdued non-fuchsia jacket designs. good writing helps too, but that's harder to come by.

going mad

i get a soliciting call.
me (in my coldest tone of voice): are you aware i am on the do-not-call list?
man (in a totally reasonable tone of voice): no ma'am.
me (quite reasonably i think): well, i'm afraid i am.
man (reasonably): no ma'am. i was assured this number is not on the do-not-call list.

hey! it's my number. on. the. list. trust me.

obit

hopefully we can now use it to denote a desired outcome.

anyways, it explains alot.

the enormity of it.

on an intellectual level i totally agree that language evolves.
on a guttural level i am not sure i like being part of the evolution.

sniffles

do i really write me she and it? it just goes to show how brain addling this can get.
what i ought to write is, he me and she.

the four seasons

sniffles - sweats - sweats - cracks.
or, thunderstorms - bush fires - hurricanes - sleet.

currently sniffles. specifically, me she and it.

singapore day

4 million dollars. 4000 people. chinese pragmatism.

but why? my friend asks me. i run through possible reasons but none of the non-jejune reasons sounds politically nice. comes an age beyond which the realism-skepticism divide thins, i guess.

precious mem'ries

manhattan in spring
walking miles
great food
a place called butter
convivial company

the only thing missing is one of us.

singapore day 2012

here is part of the horde that turned up.

to be fair it turned out to be actually enjoyable.

slickly polished entertainment, nicely controlled crowd.

so the food was a tad inaccessible, but the weather was great.

battle prep

4,000 registrants - free food - free entertainment.

J2's gunning for the chicken rice.

HOM wants to meet Barbarella.

i want a commitment that if all four thousand turn up

we can slope off to chinatown and pay for a 

sit down lunch.

spot the difference

specifically, spot the chronos-chairos disconnect.

diff'rnt strokes

we attend the briefing for admitted students. we'll treat you like adults, the lady says. you choose you register you turn up or you party. you'll be an independent learner. HOM and J2 are fine with it. they like independent.

me, when i went to school they did everything all i did was turn up and they made sure i graduated. independent frightens me.

yuup!

progression of response to back to back episodes of storage wars:

• yay! let's watch!
• wait, i've watched this one.
• umm. this is familiar. i think.

memento mori

my friend talks to me about her blood pressure. there is much frustration and perplexity. that she has done so much, and still not enough.

i remember the first time i glimpse mortality's shadow. a door slides open, just a little, and the wedge widens over time. we bid farewell to our youth eventually, but i think this is when i begin.

to put it in perspective

HOM's toys:
the mixer the food processor the pasta attachment

mine:
the magic pots

the darkness in between

would you sell your kidney for an iPhone? some idiot did. silly boy, not to see the pricelessness of one and the worthlessness of the other.

would you give your good life up for an undeserving uninterested fellow? somebody did. the more fool he, not to consider the pricelessness of one and the worthlessness of the other. 

but you see, being that undeserving ungrateful fellow, i know that that moment of folly bought me liberty. the perfect for the flawed. an imprudent profitless trade, and a glorious exchange.

via dolorosa

Lord, wither goest thou?
to my father in glory,
to rejection and shame,
to pain and sorrow,
to the edge of endurance,
i go to my father in glory.
Lord, let me go with you.
not yet. not now. but
you will tread the same path
most assuredly.

Jn 13:36-38

annual outing

i do a spot of weeding, which is the genteel way of saying that i blindly grab handfuls of lush vegetation to stuff two large trash bags, after which i stop because there is clearly a sensible limit to energy expended over a chronically recurrent problem. 

what i don't understand is why, for a non-onion-consuming household, do i uproot multiple chives-like strands arising from buried bulbs with a distinctive onion smell? do people actually plant onions in their front yards?

dolorosa

my times are in your hands

- ps 31:15

a bruised reed shall he not break

- isa 42:3

cup of pleasure and cup of sorrow

of successes and triumphs

of regret upon regret

my times are in your hands

and a bruised reed shall you not break.

easter

"... my soul is troubled ... for this purpose i came to this hour."

- jn 12:27

we have peace with God thorough our Lord ...

- rom 5:1

how do i begin to grasp the magnitude of this exchange?

i would say thanks, but how do i even imagine what i mean?

road trip 2

we all get more excited here than at the state capitol.

philistines.

road trip

we cut short our short trip, HOM and i. it's a nice place, and we're paid up for two nights, and we beat it back to home after one because:

• the bed's too soft
• the wifi is sp-sp-spotty
• we walk both uptown and downtown in the morning

in established middle age, home gets more and more inviting.