it turns out my smartphone has been accessing the worldwide web on its own accord over the past month and racking up a whopping data usage bill on my behalf. J2 runs through my settings and disables the offending button. you've got to know what you authorize, mom, she says, with all the authority and exasperation of omniscient youth. i can't be here to bail you out every time. actually, her exact words are, what are you going to do when i'm not here to do this for you?
right. i stand chastised.
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